The Undomestic 10: Marie Mutsuki Mockett

Name: Marie Mutsuki Mockett
Sex: Female
Occupation: Writer, author of debut novel “Picking Bones from Ash”

1.) Are you a feminist?
I’m generally not comfortable with labels or groups. Do I think that everyone should be treated with respect, dignity and fairness? Yes. Does that make me a feminist?

2.) What does feminism mean to you?
It is an extension of humanism, which asks that we have compassion for all living things. Most days I’m in my head, thinking about how the world works, thinking about how we all perceive each other, and I’m concerned not just for women, but for men too. Everyone suffers and I’m uncomfortable rating or valuing one person’s injustice over another’s.

3.) Who is one female (other than your mother) you admire, and why?
I was in my grandmother’s hometown of Kimball, Nebraska this summer; people still remember her for saving the town library. She was an intrepid world traveler who sent me postcards from Malta, Hong Kong and Peru. She waited and watched to see when she should pounce with: “The Wizard of Oz,” “The Wind in the Willows” and “Jane Eyre” (the books, not the movies). She called me “Rat” and I called her “Mole.” She patiently read a draft of a novel that I wrote at ten, and criticized all the logic gaps. My parents were appalled, but my grandmother was right; writing and publishing are hard. She knew because she was a writer herself. She loved paintings of graveyards in Mexico and collected devil masks, which she hung at the bottom of the staircase to her basement. As a child, I was afraid of this “gateway to the Underworld.” She never lost her temper. She was an unabashed Democrat in one of the most conservative states in the country. At eighty years old, she still drove three hours to Denver—wearing gloves and a hat—to catch a play. We worried that her car might break down on the open road. She said: “Oh, some nice farmer will stop by to help me.” He always did. The other day she showed up in a dream and asked: “Why are you trying to buy my old house? You can’t live there. You are supposed to be a writer.” I woke up and got to work on this questionnaire, which I had been putting off answering.

4.) Are there enough women in leadership positions in your field?
Publishing is full of women. Most readers of fiction are women. Stephanie Meyers and JK Rowling are, by all accounts, millionaires. And yet don’t most men win the high literary prizes? So I wonder: what are the leadership positions women should occupy in order to gain prestige? Should we run more publishing houses? Should we establish our own awards? Or should we be happier about the fact that more people read our books? Do we place too much emphasis on awards and “prestige”?

5.) Are men and women being paid fair and equally in your field?
See above. On the “famous writer lecture circuit,” I wonder who earns more? The male writer who has nabbed a Pulitzer, National Book Award and/or Booker, or the female best-seller who has forever captured the hearts of young and impressionable readers?

6.) How do media generally portray women? What is a good example of this?
You are probably white. It’s hard for you to be pretty and smart. You are skinny and employ a self-deprecating sense of humor that keeps you from being threatening. Still, no one can get close to you! (The Proposal, Ally McBeal, Gray’s Anatomy). If you are very smart and have a great job, you’ve repressed some elemental part of yourself that requires 1: confronting your mother, 2: giving up your lucrative job, and 3: using lots of money to travel to “simpler” places (the south of France, rural America, the “East”, take your pick) where you will be rejuvenated/fall in love at last (Baby Boom, A Year in Provence, Sweet Home Alabama). Even then, you are probably still white. If you are Black, you are urban and struggling but dignified and can whip out rejoinders that make gay men blush—but you have relationship problems and rarely get the main storyline. If you are Asian, you are quiet but very, very spiritual. Since you are also boring, you will probably die at some point—though gracefully—and everyone will feel bad and will learn an important historical lesson (Luan on The Young and the Restless, Miss Saigon). To counteract this sad stereotype, you are increasingly being given the role that the black girl originally had, except you are allowed to have more sex (Ally McBeal, Grey’s Anatomy). Every now and then, if you are Black, you get to be the spiritual one, but you too must suffer and often die. This is so your character can have “something to do” (Battlestar Galactica, ER). Real life is much more complicated, and fortunately, good novels allow for psychological complexity. Mind you—I don’t think the media does justice to men either.

7.) What can men and women do to reduce violence against women?
Actually try to understand each other and be compassionate to each other. If you think that understanding and compassion matter, then you work from there to respect all living things. If compassion is not something you value, then it’s easy to rationalize almost any kind of behavior. I guess this is one reason why I think the most difficult questions—how to be happy, how to be productive, how to feel safe—are often almost religious or spiritual in nature. We can legislate all we want. The lawyers are always going to be thrilled to take our money. But the law in and of itself can’t force people to want to do the right thing. That is a matter of the human heart.

8.) How do you achieve balance between work and personal/home life?
I married someone who values art and appreciates what I do, so I feel tremendously supported. My parents also valued creativity and while I put pressure on myself to succeed, they were enormously patient when it came to waiting for me to publish a book. I’m about to have a child, though, so this equation may change. I’ll have to get back to you.

9.) What is one thing you’d like to see happen for women in the next 5-10 years?
I have gone without medical insurance. I think all artists have at some point. Currently, I have insurance through my husband’s job, and my prenatal care has been excellent. But I see other pregnant women put off visits to their physicians because they will need to pay out of pocket. A number of New York OBs do not take insurance at all. My parents were unable to afford medical insurance for my mother due to her pre-existing conditions. Did you know that women tend to have more pre-existing conditions than men? My father died at 69—he didn’t take care of himself. Despite her conditions—or perhaps because of them—my mother takes care of herself and she’s still ticking. She was the better investment, if you want to get clinical. Or, is keeping people healthy not really the goal? I don’t buy the rationale that other industrialized nations like Canada, Germany and Japan have bankrupt socialized medicine systems and that we should therefore not pursue government managed care at all. It ought to mean something to be an American. We ought to be able to find a way to protect our people’s health and care for our children and show the world how to be successful at doing so. I consider this a moral obligation.

10.) What is one piece of advice you’d like to give to young girls today?
My novel opens with the conceit that the only way a woman can be safe in this world, is to be “talented.” I explore several generations of women, and the lengths they will take to ensure that their talents come to fruition. It isn’t always pretty. And yet, I would say that it is truly important to develop yourself in all ways, and treat yourself with respect. Also, people—men and women—will equate niceness with weakness. Be aware of this, and learn how to counter it when you need to. Life is a lot of fun. But prepare yourself for turbulence.

*Any emphasis that of The Undomestic Goddess

The Undomestic 10 is a 10-question interview with men and women about feminism and how we can improve it. The Undomestic 10 welcomes anyone and everyone to shed light on how our society views feminism (even those who don't self-identify as feminists). If you think you have something interesting to add to the mix, don't hesitate to email me at amanda(dot)recupido(at)gmail(dot)com.

Link to all Undomestic 10 interviews.